The Funny Misadventures of Bob the Burglar

 

The continued adventures of Bob the burglar

Bob, a man whose criminal career was about as successful as a sieve holding water, was the undisputed, albeit unwanted, king of burglary in Klien, Texas. Now, 'king' might be a generous term. More accurately, he was the only burglar in Klien, a fact he attributed to his unique set of...challenges.

Firstly, Bob was terrified of cats. A simple hiss from a fluffy feline could send him scrambling up a tree faster than a squirrel after an acorn. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, the sight of a 90-year-old lady clutching a shotgun sent shivers down his spine that rivaled the chill of a Texas winter. These two phobias combined to create a rather amusingly disastrous career path.

Episode 1: The Case of the Fluffy Felon

Bob, eyeing a particularly tempting-looking Victorian house with a "Beware of Dog" sign that suspiciously lacked a canine presence, crept towards the back garden. He was just about to jimmy the lock when a fluffy, ginger cat, the size of a small bear, materialized from the shadows with a menacing meow.

Bob, his face paling, yelped like a startled chihuahua and promptly tripped over a garden gnome, sending it hurtling towards the window. The resulting crash shattered the peace of the neighborhood and alerted the homeowner, a kindly old lady named Agnes, who just happened to be a champion sharpshooter in her younger days and still practiced regularly.

Agnes, armed with a shotgun that could probably bring down a small aircraft, promptly marched out onto the porch, glaring at the flailing Bob with the intensity of a thousand suns. Bob, in a desperate bid for survival, launched himself over a rosebush, leaving behind a trail of shredded clothing and bewildered apologies. Agnes, chuckling at the ridiculous sight, simply shook her head and went back inside. Bob, bruised and humiliated, crawled away, vowing to stick to robbing lemonade stands in the future.

Episode 2: The Night of the Nine Lives

Emboldened by a particularly strong cup of coffee, Bob decided to try again, this time targeting a seemingly empty house with a "Beware of Cat" sign. He tiptoed through the front door, only to be greeted by a chorus of indignant meows. A horde of fluffy, striped, and calico cats, each with an expression of pure disdain, surrounded him, hissing and spitting.

Bob, convinced he'd stumbled into a feline convention, frantically backpedaled out the door, tripping over his own feet in the process. He landed hard, his head colliding with a garden ornament shaped like a grumpy-looking owl. Dazed and disoriented, he made a hasty retreat, leaving behind a trail of bewildered felines and a shattered owl.

Episode 3: The Great Granny Gamble

Determined to prove he wasn't a complete failure, Bob decided to finally tackle the challenge of the 90-year-old ladies with shotguns. He picked a quiet street, hoping to catch a solitary victim off guard. He crept towards a house with a slightly askew porch swing, convinced it was ripe for the picking.

As he fiddled with the lock, the porch door creaked open, revealing a woman with a twinkle in her eye and a shotgun resting casually on her shoulder. She was 92 years old, and her smile radiated an aura of mischief and impending doom. Bob, his heart hammering against his ribs like a trapped bird, fainted before he could utter a single word.

The 92-year-old chuckled, shaking her head at the hapless Bob. She helped him to his feet, gave him a cookie, and gently advised him to find a more suitable career path. Bob, thoroughly beaten, promised never to bother anyone again, especially not anyone with a twinkle in their eye and a fondness for weaponry.

And so, the legend of Bob the Burglar, the worst burglar in Klien, Texas, lived on, a cautionary tale of feline fury and the formidable power of 90-year-old women with shotguns. His misadventures, while disastrous, were always guaranteed to bring a smile to the faces of Klien's residents, reminding them that even in the face of adversity, there was always room for a good chuckle.

By Eric

Insanity on the Highways: The Truth About Texas Drivers

They are making me crazy

Driving in Texas can be quite the experience. As someone who has been navigating the Lone Star State's roads for the past two years, I can confidently say that Texas drivers have a unique way of making me go from calm to crazy in a matter of minutes.

From aggressive lane changes to tailgating at high speeds, it seems like every trip on the road is an adventure in itself. But amidst the chaos and frustration, there are also moments of pure hilarity that remind me why I love living in this wild state.

One thing that stands out about Texas drivers is their unwavering confidence behind the wheel. Whether it's merging onto a busy highway or squeezing into a tight parking spot, Texans never shy away from a challenge. And while this confidence can sometimes border on recklessness, it also adds a certain charm to our roads that you won't find anywhere else.

But with great confidence comes great impatience. It seems like every driver in Texas is in a hurry to get somewhere, no matter how far they have to go. This leads to a lot of aggressive driving behavior, from honking horns to cutting off other cars without a second thought. It can be exhausting trying to keep up with the fast pace of traffic, but it's all part of the thrill of driving in Texas.

Of course, not all Texas drivers are bad apples. There are plenty of courteous and considerate drivers out there who make the roads a safer and more pleasant place for everyone. It's just unfortunate that they often get overshadowed by the more aggressive and reckless ones.

Despite the frustrations and occasional moments of road rage, I wouldn't trade my time driving in Texas for anything. The unique blend of confidence, impatience, and humor that defines our drivers makes every trip an unforgettable experience. So next time you find yourself stuck behind a slow driver or cut off by someone changing lanes without signaling, just take a deep breath and remember: you're not alone in your crazy-driving experiences in the Lone Star State.

Movie review "Leave the world behind, More like leave this movie behind

 

Leave the world behind

More like leave this movie behind

Introduction

Are you considering watching the highly anticipated NETFLIX movie "Leave the World Behind"? Before you grab your popcorn and settle in for a movie night, you might want to think twice before you do, it's essential to know what you're getting into. In this article, I want to provide you an honest and critical review of "Leave the World Behind," highlighting its weaknesses and addressing some of the concerns viewers may have. So, let's dive in and explore why this movie fell short of expectations.

A Plethora of Unanswered Questions

One of the most frustrating aspects of "Leave the World Behind" is the abundance of unanswered questions throughout the film. From the very beginning, the plot presents numerous intriguing elements, but fails to provide satisfactory explanations. As a viewer, you may find yourself continuously asking, "What is the true purpose of this character?" or "What happened in that particular scene?" and what's with the ending scene? These unanswered questions leave a sense of dissatisfaction and hinder the overall enjoyment of the movie.

Poor Audio Quality

Another glaring flaw in "Leave the World Behind" is its subpar audio quality. Whether it's the dialogue between characters or the background music, the audio feels muffled and unclear at times. This can be incredibly frustrating as it makes it challenging to fully grasp the conversations and nuances of the story. A good movie should have crisp and clear audio that immerses the viewer, but unfortunately, "Leave the World Behind" falls short in this aspect.

Questionable Use of Language

While it's common for movies to include strong language to convey emotions and create realistic scenarios, "Leave the World Behind" takes it to another level. The excessive and unnecessary use of profanity becomes a distraction rather than an asset to the storytelling. It often feels forced and out of place, serving no real purpose other than shock value. This not only dilutes the impact of important moments but also alienates a portion of the audience who may find the language offensive or unnecessary.

Lack of Character Development

One of the essential aspects of any movie is the development of its characters. Unfortunately, "Leave the World Behind" fails to provide sufficient character development, leaving viewers disconnected from the individuals on screen. As the story progresses, you may find yourself struggling to relate or empathize with the characters' experiences or motivations. Without a genuine connection to the characters, it becomes challenging to invest emotionally in the narrative, ultimately diminishing the overall impact of the film.

Conclusion

In conclusion, "Leave the World Behind" is a NETFLIX movie that leaves much to be desired. From its unresolved plot points to its subpar audio quality and questionable use of language, the film falls short in various aspects. The lack of character development further hampers the viewer's ability to connect with the story. While it's commendable for filmmakers to take risks and explore unconventional approaches, it's essential to strike a balance between innovation and maintaining a quality viewing experience. Unfortunately, "Leave the World Behind" missed the mark, and I recommend exercising caution before deciding to watch this film. I feel I wasted 2 hours and 20 minutes of my life, that I will never get back.

Remember, it's essential to consider multiple perspectives when evaluating a movie, as different viewers may have different preferences and expectations. While my review points out the shortcomings of "Leave the World Behind," other individuals may find value and enjoyment in aspects that I did not highlight. Ultimately, the decision to watch this film rests with you. I suggest you skip this one.

A humorous look at retirement

Retirement – the word itself brings to mind images of relaxation, leisure, and maybe some golfing. But what about being a retired old man at 65, sort of? As someone who is approaching retirement age, I can’t help but wonder what my life will be like once I retire. And from what I’ve heard from my retired friends and family, it seems like there’s a lot of humor and fun involved in this new phase of life.

First of all, let’s address the “sort of” part. In today’s world, 65 is no longer considered old. With advancements in healthcare and technology, people are living longer and staying active well into their 80s and even 90s. So while 65 may be the traditional retirement age, it doesn’t necessarily mean that one is “old” in the traditional sense. In fact, many retirees are embracing this time in their lives as a chance to do all the things they never had time for while working.

But back to the humor – it seems that retirement brings about a whole new set of jokes and jokes about old age. Suddenly, it’s

acceptable to make jokes about forgetting things or needing glasses to read. And let’s not forget about the classic “I’m retired, I have no schedule” joke. But the best part is, these jokes are often made by retirees themselves, showing that they have a good sense of humor about the changes that come with aging.

One of the most humorous aspects of retirement is the newfound freedom and lack of responsibilities. No more deadlines, no more meetings, no more boss – it’s all about doing what you want, when you want. This can lead to some hilarious situations, like my friend who accidentally booked a trip to Caribbean during hurricane season because he forgot to check the weather. Or my guy who decided
to take up painting in his retirement, only to discover that he has no artistic talent whatsoever. But the beauty of retirement is that there’s no pressure to be perfect – it’s all about enjoying the journey.

Another funny aspect of retirement is the interactions with younger generations. Suddenly, you’re the “old guy” at family gatherings or events. And while it can be a bit jarring at first, it can also be quite amusing. I have a retired friend who loves to tell stories about his younger days, and kids find him absolutely hilarious. And let’s not forget about the modern technology – trying to figure out how to use a smartphone or navigate social media can lead to some comical moments.

But beyond the jokes and laughter, retirement also brings a sense of perspective and appreciation for life. Many retirees have worked hard for decades and have earned the right to relax and enjoy their golden years. They have a wealth of knowledge and experience, and

it’s always entertaining to hear their stories and advice. And let’s not forget about the wisdom that comes with age – retirees often have a unique and humorous take on life that can be quite refreshing.

In the end, being a retired old man at 65, seems like a pretty great gig. Sure, there may be some physical limitations and adjustments to make, but with a good sense of humor and a positive outlook, retirement can be one of the most enjoyable and fulfilling times of life. So here’s to laughing, living, and embracing all the humor that comes with being a retired old man at 65.

Hanging Out

 

Just Hanging Out

       Well, here is a hotel for those who have no fear of heights or are looking for a new "High Adventure" This is the "Skylodge Hotel", it's about 400 feet off the valley floor.
This hotel is in Peru in the area called "Sacred Valley" known for some great views. It's run by the Peruvian tour company "Natura Viva".

So how much do you pay for this adventure? Well, here is what the article I read said.

      "The price you’ll have to pay to stay in one of these incredibly unique capsules, is having to climb a 400-foot steel ladder embedded in the almost sheer-cliff face to get to one of these unique hotels. If you don’t fancy that, you can also hike or use a zip-wire. Oh, and the other price you’ll have to pay is approximately $300 USD".



Your beautiful walk ... OK climb to your front door

So what’s the rooms like? everything I've read says it has lots of windows with great views, there is a nice sleeping area, an eating area and a bathroom. All rooms have drapes for privacy. and yes there are lights.

This is your front door.

This is your Bedroom. Looks comfortable to me.

This is your dinning area

Here is your deck, where you can relax, play games or what ever you want, make sure you are strapped in, its a long ways down.

After all the fun and food and drink, you may find nature calling, well here is your bathroom. It is fully self contained so need to worry about who is below.

      At the end of your trip from what I have read there are only two ways to get down. You can repeal down, which if your a mountain climber could be a lot of fun, or you can use a zip-line which is what I would love to do.

Well what do you think? Would you give it a try? I know if I had the money I would try it, this is truly living life's great adventures. If you want more details check out their web site at

Sky Lodge Adventure Suites

What is True Peace?

 

 Finding Rest in the Midst of Storms

      We all crave peace. In the midst of life's chaos and challenges, that deep sense of calm and tranquility seems like the most precious commodity. Recently, during my devotional time, I found myself wrestling with anxiety over my wife's medical issue. I've been trying to surrender it to God, to trust in His plan and provision, but it's difficult. It's easy to slip into the trap of trying to control the situation, seeking peace through other means.

      We've all been there, haven't we? Whether it's reaching for a drink, self-medicating, or burying our heads in the sand, hoping the problem magically disappears. But is that true peace?

      Bryan Duncan, in his insightful words, draws a clear distinction: "When you think everything is right in the world and there are no troubles, that's peace, NO! That is just relief. When we bury our head in the sand, we just get run over by the truck we never saw coming." He goes on to say, "True peace is an inner feeling of contentment when the rest of the world is falling down around you."

      I don't know about you, but that resonates deeply with me. It's a beautiful picture of peace not as the absence of problems, but as a steadfast, inner strength that persists even when life throws us curveballs.

So, what does God say about true peace?

The Bible offers a wealth of wisdom on this topic. Here are a few key insights:

      Peace is a gift from God: Philippians 4:7 says, "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." This peace is not earned or manufactured; it's a gift freely given by God.

      Peace comes through faith and trust: Isaiah 26:3 reminds us, "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." Our trust in God, even amidst uncertainty, is the foundation for true peace.

      Peace is rooted in our relationship with God: John 14:27 says, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." It's a peace that flows from our connection with Jesus, a peace that transcends the anxieties of this world.

      Peace is a fruit of the Holy Spirit: Galatians 5:22 lists peace as one of the fruits of the Spirit. As we walk in obedience to God, allowing the Holy Spirit to transform us, we experience this deep and abiding peace.

Finding True Peace:

      While true peace is a gift from God, it's also something we actively cultivate. It requires:

      Surrendering our anxieties to God: Casting our cares on Him allows us to find rest in His loving embrace.

      Focusing on God's promises: Remembering His faithfulness throughout history and His unwavering love for us brings comfort and strength.

      Choosing to trust even when we don't understand: Faith is often a leap in the dark, but it's in those moments that our trust in God is deepened.

      Cultivating gratitude: Focusing on the good, even in difficult times, shifts our perspective and fosters peace.

      The journey to true peace is not always easy. There will be times when anxiety creeps in, and we might falter in our trust. But remember that God's peace is always available. It's a constant, unwavering presence that transcends our circumstances. Let us choose to embrace this gift, finding rest in His love and strength, even when the world around us feels like it's falling apart.